You know you've read too many blogs and stayed up way too late that night when you start dreaming about the bloggers.
I was up late last night trying to catch up on blog reading... recently I added a ton of new ones to my reading load, so I'm still adjusting to having so many great blogs to read. Reading so late into the night caused me to have the craziest, sort of motivating dream.
I don't remember the whole dream, you know the way they are sometimes sort of foggy and choppy. I dreamt I went to Los Angeles, which in my dream I think was Florida. I went to a meeting which was set up like a Weight Watcher's meeting... Tony (http://theantijared.blogspot.com), was the leader. I don't think it was a Weight Watcher's meeting because I get the feeling we were all at goal. I went to the meeting, I don't remember what he was talking about... I just remember looking around the room - everyone in the room wa at goal. Di (http://theincredibleshrinkingfamily.blogspot.com)was there, Hollie was there (http://skinnyhollie.com, Lisa (http://senseieyes.blogspot.com/), Skye (http://skye-lynn.blogspot.com/). There was also a few others that I don't know by name but who's blog I read... http://newsarahsundae.blogspot.com/, http://dudeatww.blogspot.com/, http://acakeforawife.blogspot.com/, http://dietingbattle.blogspot.com/, http://lowcarbpatty.blogspot.com/,
http://myfoodcomas.blogspot.com/, and http://msbitchcakes.blogspot.com/. How did I know it was them? Some of them looked like their photos, others I just knew it was them. After the meeting I went to the airport. When I got off the plane in my city. My daughter and I rode BMX bikes home from the airport... on the freeway... lol. Strange, Strange dream.
The dream didn't make sense, but what I took from the dream and the reason why I decided to share it with you all was that we were all at goal! :) THIS IS OUR YEAR LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
Okay onto things that do (sort of) make sense...
I did pretty good yesterday. I almost stuck to my menu plan... by the time I had my snack after lunch I was pretty full, I couldn't of had the dinner meal that I had planned... instead I wasted those points on a truffle, oatmeal, fruits, and Fiber One bars... I got exercise in, and used 1 of my weekly flex points... which I'm okay with. I think I did good. I forgot to have my multivitamin, and didn't drink all my water, but had 2 glasses... so over the next couple of days I'll drink a little more water and make up for it. Over all I think I had a B day.
Today, so far I'm on target, had my oatmeal for breakfast - about to have my snack... then it's a lunch of a plan old side salad with 4oz of turkey... mmmm I always seem to forget that I actually do like salad, but it has to have some sort of meat/fish in it. I also need to drink some water today too.
The other day, Skye (http://skye-lynn.blogspot.com/) wrote a great entry about being healthy not thin, and learning to love and except one self now at any size. That's exactly what one of my New Year's resolutions was this year... love me now and live today. For the past couple of years (well probably more than just a couple) I didn't really want to buy too much clothes for myself, because I wasn't happy with my body or how I looked... instead of just buying a bigger size that fit better, I would rather spend the money on my daughter. Along with my weight I basically let myself go. I'd get a haircut here and there, but didn't really have anything to wear. When Ross and I first started dating he wanted to go out dancing a lot... but I didn't - because I didn't have anything to wear. I still really don't have any club/dancing clothes but I'm getting there.
I decided this year that even though I'm losing weight I'm still going to improve my outside. For years my boss has been trying to gently get me to dress up a bit for work... I'd always wore jeans and any ol'shirt... my hair would sometimes be in a ponytail and rarely any make-up. She never said much to me about it but every once in a while she'd give me a gentle push... one year there was this huge sale at Macy's and she surprised me by buying me a huge load of blouses, sweaters, etc. It was very sweet of her... but I rarely wore the clothes to work. I figured she wanted me to go for a more professional image so I started wearing scrubs for a while... but eventually went back to my uniform of jeans and any ol'shirt.
We sometimes deal with attorneys, etc. I mostly deal with them over phone... rarely do I meet them in person or do they come into the office. But the few times they did I was a bit embarrassed because of my appearance... not really my weight... but mostly my clothes, messy hair, etc.
Rejoining Weight Watcher and climbing back onto the weight loss wagon has brought me back some of my confidence... I want to feel and look good everyday, and I decided that I don't want to wait 'til I reach goal to do so. I decided that even though I love sleep, and my jeans and ol'shirt is very comfortable... I was going to make an effort to get up a little earlier in the morning and invest a little time into my appearance.
Since I don't have tons of clothes and I'm losing weight... by the time I reach goal I'll have gone from a 14 to about a 7/8... that's a big difference so I don't want to spend a fortune in clothes... soooo I found a solution. SECONDHANDS! I've always been a thrifter but I never really took the time to sort through the clothing. I have been lately... and wow or wow... my wardrobe is building up... and when the clothes outgrow me, I won't feel guilting getting rid of them.
Since the beginning of the year I've been transforming myself from a jeans and ol'shirt girl to the Office Manager/Physician's Assistant that I am. I'm still a work in progress, but I I feel great! I don't wear make up everyday, but I do make sure to add a little color to my lips... and now that I've lost a little weight it opens up my options more at the thrift stores to find clothes that fit. Feeling good on the outside for some reason I think has effected my job performance... I feel like I get a lot more done. I look like an Office Manager/Physican's Assistant... so now I'm acting more like one... funny how that works...
Anyway, my point of that longish story is that we have to learn to love ourselves at any size... love ourselves now, work on making us feel good now, and live for today.