Friday, January 16, 2009

It's OUR Year! Love yourself now, and live for today!

You know you've read too many blogs and stayed up way too late that night when you start dreaming about the bloggers.

I was up late last night trying to catch up on blog reading... recently I added a ton of new ones to my reading load, so I'm still adjusting to having so many great blogs to read. Reading so late into the night caused me to have the craziest, sort of motivating dream.

I don't remember the whole dream, you know the way they are sometimes sort of foggy and choppy. I dreamt I went to Los Angeles, which in my dream I think was Florida. I went to a meeting which was set up like a Weight Watcher's meeting... Tony (, was the leader. I don't think it was a Weight Watcher's meeting because I get the feeling we were all at goal. I went to the meeting, I don't remember what he was talking about... I just remember looking around the room - everyone in the room wa at goal. Di ( there, Hollie was there (, Lisa (, Skye ( There was also a few others that I don't know by name but who's blog I read...,,,,,, and How did I know it was them? Some of them looked like their photos, others I just knew it was them. After the meeting I went to the airport. When I got off the plane in my city. My daughter and I rode BMX bikes home from the airport... on the freeway... lol. Strange, Strange dream.

The dream didn't make sense, but what I took from the dream and the reason why I decided to share it with you all was that we were all at goal! :) THIS IS OUR YEAR LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

Okay onto things that do (sort of) make sense...

I did pretty good yesterday. I almost stuck to my menu plan... by the time I had my snack after lunch I was pretty full, I couldn't of had the dinner meal that I had planned... instead I wasted those points on a truffle, oatmeal, fruits, and Fiber One bars... I got exercise in, and used 1 of my weekly flex points... which I'm okay with. I think I did good. I forgot to have my multivitamin, and didn't drink all my water, but had 2 glasses... so over the next couple of days I'll drink a little more water and make up for it. Over all I think I had a B day.

Today, so far I'm on target, had my oatmeal for breakfast - about to have my snack... then it's a lunch of a plan old side salad with 4oz of turkey... mmmm I always seem to forget that I actually do like salad, but it has to have some sort of meat/fish in it. I also need to drink some water today too.

The other day, Skye ( wrote a great entry about being healthy not thin, and learning to love and except one self now at any size. That's exactly what one of my New Year's resolutions was this year... love me now and live today. For the past couple of years (well probably more than just a couple) I didn't really want to buy too much clothes for myself, because I wasn't happy with my body or how I looked... instead of just buying a bigger size that fit better, I would rather spend the money on my daughter. Along with my weight I basically let myself go. I'd get a haircut here and there, but didn't really have anything to wear. When Ross and I first started dating he wanted to go out dancing a lot... but I didn't - because I didn't have anything to wear. I still really don't have any club/dancing clothes but I'm getting there.

I decided this year that even though I'm losing weight I'm still going to improve my outside. For years my boss has been trying to gently get me to dress up a bit for work... I'd always wore jeans and any ol'shirt... my hair would sometimes be in a ponytail and rarely any make-up. She never said much to me about it but every once in a while she'd give me a gentle push... one year there was this huge sale at Macy's and she surprised me by buying me a huge load of blouses, sweaters, etc. It was very sweet of her... but I rarely wore the clothes to work. I figured she wanted me to go for a more professional image so I started wearing scrubs for a while... but eventually went back to my uniform of jeans and any ol'shirt.

We sometimes deal with attorneys, etc. I mostly deal with them over phone... rarely do I meet them in person or do they come into the office. But the few times they did I was a bit embarrassed because of my appearance... not really my weight... but mostly my clothes, messy hair, etc.

Rejoining Weight Watcher and climbing back onto the weight loss wagon has brought me back some of my confidence... I want to feel and look good everyday, and I decided that I don't want to wait 'til I reach goal to do so. I decided that even though I love sleep, and my jeans and ol'shirt is very comfortable... I was going to make an effort to get up a little earlier in the morning and invest a little time into my appearance.

Since I don't have tons of clothes and I'm losing weight... by the time I reach goal I'll have gone from a 14 to about a 7/8... that's a big difference so I don't want to spend a fortune in clothes... soooo I found a solution. SECONDHANDS! I've always been a thrifter but I never really took the time to sort through the clothing. I have been lately... and wow or wow... my wardrobe is building up... and when the clothes outgrow me, I won't feel guilting getting rid of them.

Since the beginning of the year I've been transforming myself from a jeans and ol'shirt girl to the Office Manager/Physician's Assistant that I am. I'm still a work in progress, but I I feel great! I don't wear make up everyday, but I do make sure to add a little color to my lips... and now that I've lost a little weight it opens up my options more at the thrift stores to find clothes that fit. Feeling good on the outside for some reason I think has effected my job performance... I feel like I get a lot more done. I look like an Office Manager/Physican's Assistant... so now I'm acting more like one... funny how that works...

Anyway, my point of that longish story is that we have to learn to love ourselves at any size... love ourselves now, work on making us feel good now, and live for today.

Happy Friday!


Skye's the Limit said...

Love the dream Rosie! And I sure hope it comes true! Isn't it just crazy how dreams don't make a bit of darn sense? lol Thanks for sharing it though. I certainly had a good laugh reliving it! lol

I totally feel you on the clothes issue. This is me all the way! In fact, I know this one goes back to my childhood. As I've mentioned before, I've been overweight since the age of seven. Well, back then, they didn't have plus size stores so my mom made all of my clothes.

I always wanted to shop in a store for my clothes like my sister and brother, but they would never let me. I was told they didn't have my size. And then once they did open Lane Bryant and The Avenue, I was told they couldn't afford it because they were too expensive.

The promise was that once I lost the weight and reached my goal, then my mom would take me on a shopping spree. Needless to say, it never happened.

I truly believe this is why I don't buy clothes for myself today. I love second-hand clothes, but unfortunately, big people don't seem to give always their clothes like talking about. So, it's really hard to find them in a thrift store.

My hubby is always after me to go shopping for myself, but I much rather spend it on my daughter. She has the perfect lil shape. I really think I'm living through her. I actually get a rush when her and I go shopping. I just love that she does not have a weight problem and she can wear all the cute clothes.

And as far as make-up. I have not worn any since January 21, 2006. That was my wedding day.

But, that is one of the things that I plan on changing this year. My hubby might flip, but Skye will start shopping for herself! I think that if I have clothes that I feel confident in, wear a little make-up and get my hair done, then I'll certainly start feeling better about myself and hopefully that will lead to me loving myself more!

Thanks Rosie for bringing this one to my attention! I owe you one! ;o)

P.S. Sorry my comment is so long, but girl, I was on a roll! lol

The Incredible Shrinking Family said...

This is our year , to be sure !!!

I adore second hand stores for clothes ! Biggest reason is that i do a lot of physically messy things and no matter how careful I am, things get stained withing a wearing. I cannot stand spending 20 bucks for an article of clothing only to have it turn to toast with the first wearing. I do a lot of craft type things, messy stuff with my son for school, indoor gardening and so on. Another reason I love the second hand stuff is that it prevents things from going into the landfills, and it supplies jobs to those who otherwise would not have them . Goodwill is based on this principle. I do keep a couple of outfits in my closet for those rare occasions when I have to get dressed up. I scour the clearance ranks for some, the resale stores and others are items I have made myself. I bought a leather skirt on clearance a few years back that was several sizes too small - never grab off the rack and hold a conversation with your kid at the same time ! It is now one of my mini goal things, and my husband says when it fits he is going to take me out someplace special. No idea where- it is his responsibility to define special !

Jenny from da' rock said...

Lol! That's a great dream I think! Very motivational anyway, lol!

Just stopping by to spread some "go team Lynn" cheer!

Take care,

Rosie said...

SKYE: I'd hold my mother to it if I were you. When you reach goal remind her. You can do this.

Keep looking at second-hands... maybe you need to come to N. California for a visit... I always find plus size clothes, especially in the town my BF lives.

I was doing the same thing... my daughter is curvy, she's like a miniature jlo... almost everything looks good on her. But heck I'm tired of her being the only cute one around... so I'm changing that. It's funny now sometimes when I come home with clothes, she asks "Is that for me?" -

I think it's time that you get out there and do something for yourself... you deserve to feel good, and look good at any weight... we deserve too! So many times we think of everyone else but us.

I totally don't mind long comments, you're always welcome to do so here or email me :)

DI: Crafty? I like you more and more every time I read your words! You need an apon... do you own one? I've never owned one until a while back I brought a plastic one because I had a $1.00 to burn... I LOVE APRONS NOW! My BFF calls "Little Suzy Home-Maker" when she discovered I wear an apron around the house... now I want a fancy fabric one... lol. I have a few of those short term goal outfits... but I haven't gotten any promises of a fancy outting... lol.

JENNY FROM DA'ROCK: It was very odd, but yes it was motivational... I'm going to take it as a sign to stick to this. I can get there this year. Thanks for the LYNN TEAM love. :)

Graciela said...

I loved reading about your transformation. I know I also don't take as good care of myself when I'm feeling fat, and then it's a bit of a vicious circle.

Keep caring for yourself and your appearance and the weight loss will follow! Take care.

Rosie said...

Graciela: Thank you. I believe the same when you start to care about what the outside looks like you start to care about what the inside looks like... and what you put inside of you.