Saturday, July 11, 2009

5 Point Days

I think I'm a happy emotional eater... I eat when I'm happy as opposed to down/depressed like a lot of people. It's my 2nd lonely weekend without Ross... and I can't eat a thing. I knew it was coming yesterday and I only had 5 points and the same for Thursday. I try to eat... I just can't I get a stomachache and feel like I'm going to vomit if I force it. I feel like I have rocks in my throat and stomach. I know this can't be healthy...

Yesterday the only reason I used five points is because I forced myself to eat a piece of fish so that I'd have enough energy to get up this morning and workout since I didn't work out yesterday. It was a very tramatic night on Thursday when Ross refused to talk to me on the phone. I was so upset I couldn't even sleep... I feel asleep close to mid-night woke up at 2:30am and was awake until my alarm went on at 6am. I knew it wasn't a smart thing to jogging with lack of food and sleep so I just took care of a few things here around the house and went to work early.

I made up for it this morning. I made sure to eat some protein yesterday and went to bed about 9:30... I slept a little better last night. I got up did my run... 1.72 in 35 minutes. Beats last Friday's record of 1.70. I'm getting faster and after I finish my warm-up walking the jogging/walking part isn't so bad. The last five minutes of my 35 minutes I call them the "Five Minute Hell" that's when I super push myself to get in as much jogging as I can. I'm usually still a ways from home when my 35 minutes is up but after 35 minutes I stop and walk super slow home... more like a stroll... that's sort of my cool-down.

It's Saturday... I miss Ross like crazy. My last x-amount of Saturdays have been spent with him. I don't know what to do with myself. I guess today I'll go do my hour of house cleaning... wake Vi up and we'll head to Target to get a new belt for my vacuum, come back finish the wash pantry and bathroom... go over my bedroom a little - then we're planning on having a photo shoot today, her and I.

We've been saying we are for the longest. We haven't taken pictures together or of each other in a long while... so if there's time we're going to do that today... if not tomorrow.

Happy Losing Everyone...


Graciela said...

Hi Rosie
So sorry your feeling so sad. Breakups are the worst. Just know that it WILL get better with time.

I'm concerned about your not need to keep up your strength, even if it's hard to eat. Have you tried maybe drinking a protein shake? Or eating some soup? Sometimes liquids go down easier that solid food.

Take care...I'm thinking of you.

Rosie said...

Thank you Graciela...

I'm trying I really am. Yesterday my energy dropped like crazy, I thought I was going to pass out. I was able to use more points... 14 which is a big improvement.

I'm understanding our break up better... and know now it wasn't about me... he's going through a mid-life crisis... right now he's on his way to Columbia to meet some 20-something year old girls... he's 44!

Losing Weight After 45 is a Bitch said...

Get your revenge by losing all the weight and looking fabulous!!

And, he doesn't sound like he's worth pining over.

Feel better. If you can afford it, go to a nice spa and get some pampering (even if its a day spa).

Rosie said...

Thank you... I feel is... in all our time together this is the first thing every like this he's done... but I can't force him to be with me, just hope. Regardless the weight will come off and I will be hott(er)... :)

I'm going to try to get away next month just my daughter and I... we're thinking Disneyland.

Losing Weight After 45 is a Bitch said...

I'm actually taking my daughter to the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY next month. I've also taken her to Kripalu in Lenox, Ma. Both have kids programs, lots of opportunity to exercise and the food is mostly vegetarian. I figure it's probably a good idea to inspire her to exercise and eat better now, so that she won't have the same kind of weight issues I've had (although I have to admit it's generally not working).

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