I feel like I've completely fallen off the wagon and my body is waiting for the first of January to get back on... even though it knows I can gain weight in the next two days...
Not having my regular weigh-in schedule/meeting has affected me. I think about a month ago around Thanksgiving I should of temporarly switched to Tuesdays because I know Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Day were all going to fall on Thursdays. But I didn't, I thought I could handle it. But I can't... I need my meetings, I need my official weigh-ins and going on different days doesn't have the same affect. It doesn't. This week has been totally bad. I don't know if I've gained or have maintained because I know for sure I haven't lost anything.
I don't feel right, eating right I think has become a part of who I am... I feel terrible... since I've been off program almost every night I've had odd strange dreams. My body doesn't feel good and it's not even fun eating. I don't know what my deal is... I think for one I'm broke so I can't go grocery shopping right now to get the things that I need or want that are on program, and another thing is the holidays got the best of me... and not only that but not having my regular meeting to go to has truly thrown me off.
I'm trying to stay at least close to being on program. Tomorrow I'm going to do the same. I'm not trying to cause damage to what I've already lost but I think my mind is already set to start over on January 1st. I think I'll peek at the scale January 1st just to see what I've done... but my next official weigh-in won't be until the 8th exactly one week from the first... so it'll give me time to get rid of some of the holiday evidence.
I feel so gross right now.