Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Out Of Control

I feel like I've completely fallen off the wagon and my body is waiting for the first of January to get back on... even though it knows I can gain weight in the next two days...

Not having my regular weigh-in schedule/meeting has affected me. I think about a month ago around Thanksgiving I should of temporarly switched to Tuesdays because I know Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Day were all going to fall on Thursdays. But I didn't, I thought I could handle it. But I can't... I need my meetings, I need my official weigh-ins and going on different days doesn't have the same affect. It doesn't. This week has been totally bad. I don't know if I've gained or have maintained because I know for sure I haven't lost anything.

I don't feel right, eating right I think has become a part of who I am... I feel terrible... since I've been off program almost every night I've had odd strange dreams. My body doesn't feel good and it's not even fun eating. I don't know what my deal is... I think for one I'm broke so I can't go grocery shopping right now to get the things that I need or want that are on program, and another thing is the holidays got the best of me... and not only that but not having my regular meeting to go to has truly thrown me off.

I'm trying to stay at least close to being on program. Tomorrow I'm going to do the same. I'm not trying to cause damage to what I've already lost but I think my mind is already set to start over on January 1st. I think I'll peek at the scale January 1st just to see what I've done... but my next official weigh-in won't be until the 8th exactly one week from the first... so it'll give me time to get rid of some of the holiday evidence.

I feel so gross right now.

2 comments:

The Incredible Shrinking Family said...

Money is often one of the biggest reasons people fall off program, and the one no one talks about. It was the deal breaker for me the last time, followed by extreme stress and just being completely overwhelmed with the challenges of being a new mom to an autistic child. So this time around I have been concentration on keeping our pantry stocked with on program foods only- or as I tell my son "real" foods. Often they wind up a lot more affordable than the fun stuff. For us this means buying bulk rolled oats, brown rice, lentils ( the quick cook of the bean world) dried fruits ( shelf stable) and so forth.Our income drops in the summer months, and I am bound and determined not to let it be the thing that sabotages our weight loss. I keep the freezer pretty well stocked with frozen veggies, chicken breasts, egg beaters and fat free shredded cheese so that here is always something to grab from. I started by making lists of the things we really liked, things that were really program friendly and then keeping the makings for at least two of the options on hand. That grew to having enough food on hand for a month after a while. It has been a big help in avoiding falling off program because of too much week at the end of the money.And i have found for myself an empty fridge or sparse cabinets is a sure fire way to make me choose all the wrong foods out of fear of going hungry or something

Rosie said...

I think that's what I need to do is stock up... I just need to get my menus in order and get my butt cooking. I rely to much on already made meals. Now that WW is focusing more on filling (core) foods I think I'll for sure have to get my butt in gear in the kitchen. I guess I haven't done completely-completely bad. I have been eating beans and rice of course white (next batch will be brown) and home made tortilla... those and the ones messing with me. I'm going to try making them with wheat flour next. I just thought about it this morning.