New Focus

I haven't written a from the heart post in a very long time. Things have been crazy around here... I'm not sure if I shared, I think I did... my mother had a pinched nerve in her back which had her bed-ridden for a few weeks. It was very painful for her and very stressful for me.

I've been off program last week... not binging, just not journaling or counting points. Last Thursday, I went to a meeting at my daughter's school - the nurse told me she was very concerned about Vi's weight, and wants her to lose some. She feels she's put on about 30 pounds since the beginning of the year.

My daughter has been to hell and back this year. I can't even begin to tell you everything that's happened since 9th grade started... I'm finally getting her back on track and working on getting her back to being her... including a new school next year. She tried out for this art school and got in! I'm so proud of her... anyway, back to the weight thing. We talked about it and decided we're going to work on us this summer... forming healthier habits, getting our apartment in order - purging a whole bunch of stuff and fixing this joint up... turning it into a place we LOVE BEING not just coming home too.

Lately with everything going on I've been too drained to do any cooking. For dinner a lot of times we've headed over to Jack In The Box or someone else convient. Since the meeting at her school (Thursday) we have not had fast food. Which actually wasn't very hard. I had totally forgotten about Smart Ones and Lean Cruizines... how could I forget? I stocked our freezer with the meals for our dinners... which has made it so much easier for me. I don't have to worry about cooking dinner or going to pick something up. I do want to start cooking dinner again, but I have to clear some things off my plate first.

This past week I did some thinking... I've been doing Weight Watchers since September 2008. I got down to I think it was 181... and now I'm back up to 191 with only a 7 pound loss... it seems like the more I think about the weight I've gained back the more I'm gaining...

So this week I'm going to try something new... I'm not going to worry about the scale. I'm going to focus on staying with in my points range - that's it!

I've decided to take my weight down off the side bar of this blog so that when I log in it's not in my face. Today I didn't think about what my weight was on the scale... instead I was prepared and focused on my points allowance and what I was putting in my mouth.

I really thought about what I ate and if it was truely worth the point(s).

It's last now and I won't be doing any more eating... I did go over my points by 3 but I earned them back by walking... so far today I've walked 5.56 miles and I'm still not done! I've got some cleaning to do and some more water to drink before I head to bed.

I can do this, I can stay motivated, lose this weight and set a good example for my daughter.