'Cuz I like to suffer...

I was doing so well... I don't know what happened. February was a hard month for me. I was trying so hard to hold on but just couldn't. It was one emotional blow after another witj every blow I gained and gained a bit more. Now I'm almost back to my all time heaviest.

It's heart breaking for me but what can I do other than just start over...

I restarted Saturday with a goal of 64lbs. It's gonna take a bit but I know it's possible... I think consistancy or lack of is my problem.

I'm half way through weekly one... I'm a bit nervous.

...

I wrote a long post about my weight loss history etc... and it got deleted. I give up... Yesterday I did earn my first 5% award... 159.8

Cybexing...

My goal for today was to burn 13 points... starting last week I've upped my workouts to an hour a day and I am for 6 days a week but if I only do 5 that's okay... things come up, etc.

I rotate between cardio and weights... today was a cardio day. I was in the zone during my first 30 minute workout... doing the cybex machine with arms... I was working this baby like there was no tomorrow. The other day per the machine, I burned 450 calories in 30 minutes. I kicked butt!

Today was a later workout and it's later in the week so I set my goal for 350... but when I got close to the end of the workout I seen I way surpassed my goal and was already at 400 calories burned... so I put the petal to the metal and go to pumping like crazy....

I had 15 seconds to spare... I felt a little off but ignored the feeling... I wanted to see 444 on the screen.

When I looked again it said 445 with 10 seconds left... I was going to pump like crazy for those next 10 seconds... I felt like something was coming up but again... I was in the zone, so I ignored it.

7 seconds left and my stomach exploded. I vomitted all over the place... must have been about a gallon of water and a tiny bit of orange I had earlier...

So embarrassing. I went to the front desk, explained what happened. Asked for towels... I cleaned it up, but the housekeeping cholo that works there looked a little **** off.

I felt like telling him to get over it. It was mostly just water and I had cleaned up the mess already, all he had to do was run a mop over it.

I actually still was planning to do a second 30 minute workout but the front desk guy in a friendly way said that was it for me... so I came home :o( only 8 points burned.

I completely forgot today was suppose to be a half cardio and half weight day... I have a dumbbell set here... let's see if I can burn a few more calories with some weights... right now I'm up to 8 Activity Points earned... I doubt I be able to make up the other 5... 2 more would be nice... :o)

It's Official..

It's Official... I'm an emotional eater. I confirmed it today. I've been stressed and a little depressed the last couple of day... yesterday evening I ate and ate... things I knew I didn't have points for... and top it with a slice of German Chocolate Cake with a cherry on top... all bad! I skipped the gym... all bad!


Today wasn't any better... I started off my morning with a Smart Ones English Muffin... but then went ahead and had a liquor store chocolate pie and Sour Skittles... so not worth it. I decided it was going to be zero point foods for the rest of the day... I was doing good until I got stressed again, went upstairs to the pot luck we were having and fixed myself a plate...

I didn't get crazy, but didn't I say earlier it was zero point foods for the rest of the day?

In the middle of smashing my face into my plate trying to get it all in my mouth at once I realized what I was doing.

I wasn't even hungry... something clicked and I realized I was stressed, depressed... and stuffing my face.. BINGO - EMOTIONAL EATING.

I stopped myself and immediately went to track it all online...

I threw the rest of the food away, stopped the mindless eating and afterwork hit the gym... and according to my activelink I earned 13 points today! Good cuz I needed them...

Tomorrow is a new day, new set of points... but this week unfortunately for us trying to control our intake... there is a 2nd pot luck. Wish me luck... I'm going to need it!

1st Weigh-In

I had my first weight in... happy but a little confused about it. I got on the scale I was still exactly the same weight... 168.2... after my workout I weighed myself again... and low and behold 166.2!


I think I might be retaining water for not drinking enough... does that make sense?

I counted my loss at 167.2 :o) Also lost 1/2 inch off my navel line!

Just Average...

Recently I found an old list of weigh-ins... I went back to all my old resources and updated/filled in the spots... weigh-ins from 2008 to this year 2013.

Bored, I played with the numbers and here are some stats I came up with...

Average Weight Per Year:
2008 - 185.93
2009 - 183.84
2010 - 171.44
2011 - 176.8
2012 - 179.21
2013 - 171.92

2008 - was happy in a relationship... I had been even before the two prior years... at one point in 2006 weighing in at 200.5 at a Weight Watcher's meeting... my heaviest ever.

My over all weight with in the last 6 years (including this one): 179.93

What good do all of these averages make.... hhmmm well none really... just thought it was interesting how I've gone up and down.

I'm tired of battling my weight. I am tired of my weight from holding me back from what I want. I need to take these negative feelings, this frustration and transform it into motivation and strength to keep on moving, keep on tracking... to keep on losing.

My official first goal is 159.8... but my mini personal goal right now is to bring this years average weight down to 171.43... if I lose a pound this week that'll lower my average to 170.94! Then I can focus on lowering my over overall average to 179.21.

I an do this... 28lbs.

HEY 28LBS! GET THE HELL OFF ME!

BIG NEWS!!!

GUESS WHO WAS CHOSEN TO BE THE VERY FIRST WEIGHT WATCHER'S OFFICIAL SPOKESPERSON BLOGGER?

YES! YOURS TRULY.. MOI!

Okay well not OFFICIAL spokesperson... but I have OFFICIALLY joined Weight Watchers Online and I am nominating and electing myself as the Unofficial Weight Watcher's Spokesperson Blogger.

My starting weight - as of this am... 168.2 - I officially have 28.2 more pounds to go!

I'm excited and pumped.

We are starting a biggest loser contest at work on Monday... my concern isn't even about winning... I feel like I have that in the bag... my concern is what if I reach my goal weight before the 12 weeks... what will I do? :op

Weight Watchers Lifetime... HERE I COME!

FINAL CALL FOR DSD WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE

I have one person so far who wants to join the Challenge... anyone else? Final Call... leave a comment if you're interested...

Valentine's Day Challenge Anyone?

It just occurred to me that Valentine's Day is just around the corner. I know I just got back to blogging... and probably have about 1 to 2 hits a day at the most right now... but is anyone up for a short Valentine's Day Weight Loss Challenge?

If you're game... leave me a comment. If anyone wants to join me I'll post up the guidelines and rules. I'm not sure about a prize... but there can possibly be one.

Remember... leave a comment below if you're interested in a challenge. Finally call will be Thursday - January 17th, 2013...

Sunday Update

This past week I did pretty good... I started off Fat Smash... then went to just WebMD's program... which is basically counting calories... and ended the week counting points.

I'm down 3.1 pounds... not bad. I'm super excited this week I have a big announcement to make Saturday... Stay Tuned...

DietSodaDiva Again

Recently, I decided to start blogging again and restarted my lifestyle blog with the intentions of writing about everything including weight loss.. after I posted about my goal to lose weight... it just didn't feel natural to post about it over there... so I'm back here writing DietSodaDiva again...

I'm feeling a little anxiety and frustration right now... as I was looking at my DSD dashboard I realized I've been writing this blog on and off since September 4th, 2008. That means I have been actively trying to lose this same weight for years. I'm going on five! WTF?! What the hell is my problem?

Why can't I just stick to something and just keep at it? And what's even more frustrating and anxiety causing is knowing I've been trying to lose this weight for even longer! I joined Weight Watcher's for the first time January 2, 2000... and have been on and off Weight Watchers and other diets since.

What's my problem? I am tired of failing but refuse to give up. My goal weight isn't unrealistic... I can do this. I know I can. So here we go again... coming along with me on my journey to goal...

below is a post originally posted on my lifestyle blog:

January 3, 2013


Today was Day One of working toward my weight goal in 2013. Odd thing is I got on the scale on the 1st of January and I was 30lbs away from goal... but this morning was 7lbs heavier! Is that really possible... to gain 7lbs in two days on a liquid diet? I had a tad bit too much to drink on New Years Eve and spend the next days living on clear soup, saltines and 7-Up. So today... Day 1 - 37lbs to go.

PLAN

- The Fat Smash Diet: I use to have a friend who lost 30lbs on this plan and kept it mostly off. I tried this diet a few years ago when she did it... but I got carried on the unlimited fruit and didn't make any progress. This time I'm adding some limitations to my intake. So... there I am above in my glory and 37lbs of extra weight... The Fat Smash Diet is broken up into 4 different phases... Detox, Foundation, Construction, The Temple... Phase 1 is basically 9 days of eating unlimited fruits and vegetables, some egg whites, no meat, no sugar... and limited carbs. I messed up a tiny bit today... I had 1 1/2 green enchiladas... :o/

6 Week Challenge

I can't believe it's been so long. My internet has been SUPER limited... I'll have to post an real update really soon...

My 6 Week Challenge... starting today. I'll give details later...
Current Weight: 175.8
Goal: 160 by SEPTEMBER 30!

Who wants to join me?

DietSodaDiva.com

Well I messed up and forgot to register DietSodaDiva.com and the domain was snatched from me... :o/

At this point I'm not sure what to do either register a whole new name or a variation of DietSodaDiva.com... I'll have to give it some thought.

So are you LOVING Weight Watcher's Points Plus program? I'm having a bit of a hard time... but I am working on adjusting...

How is everyone?!

My Birthday Intake

Sunday, I had 3,580 Calories, 485 grams of Carbs, 131 grams of Fat, 140 grams of Protein, and 9,744 grams of Sodium... according to myfitnesspal.com in 5 weeks I'm blow up (if I don't have a heart attack by then)! I'm back on program today - feels good!

Journaling

I've been journaling on both websites - myfitnesspal.com and weightwatchers.com and it's all become too much for me... I think what I'm going to do is for right now until Thursday - is paper journal and count points. Yesterday was my birthday so I went to Borders and brought myself a nice calorie counting journal... just like myfitnesspal.com I'm going to try that for a bit and see how it works for me.

I feel I need to focus more on eating a balance diet, I've got points counting down... but I turned 34 this year, I need to start focusing on eating balanced meals and keeping an eye on my sugar intake and sodium. I think mfp.com will help me pay more attention to balancing my intake...

I still love Weight Watchers and still plan on weighing-in and attending meetings, they offer in person support like no other! I'm just gonna take a break from counting points for a bit.

Right now my birthday goal is to reach 155 by 11/15/10! I think I can do it! Who wants to join me?!

DIET SODA DIVA IS GOING PAPERLESS!

After almost 11 years of paper (food) journaling - I'm going paperless purely journaling just online... only when I'm away from internet access I'll use a paper journal. I'll be journaling for now at both myfitnesspal.com and weightwatchers.com...

I'm also thinking of making a progress chart at home for my weight loss to post on my wall... I'll have to come up with something clever looking. I think seeing my progress in my face everyday will be super motivational... I'll post pictures once I'm done making it... it'll probably be some time next week...

Do you have a progress chart on your wall? If so... what does it look like?

MyFitnessPal.com

I might be a little late with this one... but have you heard of MyFitnessPal.com? I just created my profile and started journaling my food in there today... IT ROCKS!... I'm still going to paper journal and count my points for a bit... but I know several people who have been doing the MFP.com program and have been losing like crazy! 12 pounds in a month, 30 pounds in 2 months, etc.

My name is DietSodaDiva on there... check out my profile. I'll be updating my profile - huh, one day... you know I've been bad with blogging for a while now. My goal is to lost 35lbs total.

I'm super excited about this site... :o)

Go check it out!

Friday...

Friday is finally here... I did pretty good last week on program, I used up more (all) of my activity and flex points... plus went over by 5 points, but still lost 1.6!... :o)

This week I'm going to focus on drinking all my water. The week before last I barely made my quota, and last week I didn't make it at all... :o(

Yesterday at my meeting, I told my leader that I am down 29 pounds... she looked at my start weight and said it didn't reflect that... but I explained it's because I've joined and quit but total I am down 29.2 pounds... so she changed my start weight to 196.2 and I got my 10% ring and my 25lb charm, I felt special. Next week I should be down a pound and get my 30lb marker! I'm excited - I like awards.

Yesterday and so far today I haven't journaled... gonna take a break in a bit and balance out my points and food (like a checkbook), I'm scared... but it's only Friday and I have five more days to make this week ROCK!

I just thought of this - weight loss is like riding a bike... it can be smooth, but sometimes you might fall off or wreck into something... all you have to do is get back on and keep riding...

LET'S ROCK THIS WEEK! WHO'S WITH ME?!

Monday, Monday

I did great this weekend food and exercise wise. I stayed OP, I used a few of my activity points but not many and haven't touched my 35 flex points.

I'm excited about the weigh-in on Thursday... I know I'm only halfway through the week but I'm still excited. I got on the scale this morning it said 166.5! Then I got on a while later and it said 167... my scale might be messing with me... but still that's good. Even if I weigh-in on Thursday at 167 that is still a 3.8 pound loss from last week!


I'm going to get this weight off... No Rush, No Pressure, No Crash Dieting... nice and steady in a healthy manner.

I may not have everything in my life in order right now. Somedays it feels this is the only thing I have in order... but regardless it feels good to have this. Feels good to have gained control of my body again and guiding it to do what I want it to do - and that is to head in the direction of a healthy weight and all around be healthier.

So tell... how did you all do this weekend?

REMOVING THE ICKNESS, KEEPING THE THICKNESS

Yesterday was Day 1 of my new campaign REMOVING THE ICKNESS, KEEPING THE THICKNESS... and I KICKED ASS!

As always I'm counting my Weight Watcher's points and am eating off the Fat Smash food list. I am on track today also... I just have to up my water some - I only have 2 glasses in so far.

My goal is to drink 8 glasses of water a day, and do cardio exercise 5 days a week for 30 minutes each. I prefer to workout first thing in the morning... I don't usually work out on Thursdays because I go to an early meeting before work... and today I was just so tired and drained, I couldn't get out of bed.

It's been a tough week for me energy wise. Monday holidays really throw off my work and personal schedule, I'm starting not to like them.

I weighed in yesterday at 170.8, so that means I've got 35.8 pounds to lose. I CAN DO THIS! When I started it was over 60 pounds I had to lose, so I'm almost half way to goal!

I'm a little frustrated with Weight Watchers right now. I haven't had a monthly pass for a few months now... and yesterday when I attended the meeting I signed up for one again... she somehow screwed up - to make a long story short... I called WeightWatchers' hotline today because my log in wouldn't work, they had to reset up my account and in the process deleted all of my stats since September of 2008! WTF - it's all gone... the rep didn't tell me that was gonna happen. All that was kept on there was my starting weight of 196.2.

I'm going through all of my DietSodaDiva accounts right now, trying to get everything updated. I watched some of my youtube videos... WOW I can't believe how fat my face looks compared to now... I'm need to start making videos again soon... when time permits.

I'm looking at my very first video now... I can't believe how big I was... it's kind of depressing me to watch it, but also motivating me to get back in front of the camera.

Once I get organized and everything update you know what's gonna to be coming next... YES A CHALLENGE! I need to think this out and get the details worked out. I want to give away several prizes... and make it fun for everyone. But that'll come later... right now I'm just trying to focus on blogging again, getting caught up on emails and updating my accounts everywhere.

This is going to be a great weight losing weekend and week... I'll def be in the 160's next weigh in and don't plan on sending too much time there.

I'm aiming to be 155 by my birthday - October 17th! I CAN DO THIS! I WILL DO THIS!